There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
no, he came in my armpit
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
