I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Randomize
