I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
