I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
