One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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