Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
