that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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