Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Randomize
