just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
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