My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Randomize
