dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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