he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Enjoy the penises
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Randomize
