if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
