i think my mom watched the whole time
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
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