Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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