awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
