I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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