Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Randomize
