Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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