she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
Randomize
