Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
