I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
