I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
