Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Randomize
