while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
