they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Randomize
