is your mom at the bar?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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