Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Randomize
