Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
Randomize
