"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
