Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
