At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
