I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
