Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Randomize
