so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Randomize
