I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
