I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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