Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Randomize