no. you can't hotbox the world.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
