David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
