Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
