His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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