This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
