If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
