It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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