should my penis look like a turkey
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Never joke about your clitoris.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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