): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize