do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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