im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Randomize
