How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
