I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
