my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
