I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
