I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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