Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
