Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
