I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
