Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
