did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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