Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
