Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Randomize
